So yesterday was a crazy day, before my meeting about dealing with drugs as a social issue i ran into a friend of mine that i have not talked to in a bit, i was feeling like shit and totally off my game, not the usual annoying smiling happy julian who will eat your ear off about what is going on in Cuba, or the political significance of Judas priest, or talking about nice nices (cute animals that i like). Still i tried to pretend its all good and make small talk, see if anyone wants coffee etc..
So anyone who knows me knows i suck at small talk and my idea of small talk is are you coming to this meeting, or what do you think of suicide, drugs in our community etc.
Since I dont want my dad to know if i ever get arrested (my absence can be explained by a variety of factors, my favorite is i fell in love and ran off in the sunset, probably to Toronto, knowing me probably to george st or Lansdowne, which i think is a really romantic enviroment…lol im weird) I decided to ask if i got arrested would they be my surety, this was quicky followed by a disclaimer and all the thinks i would do not to be julian and annoying. They said yes but told me to stay out of jail and avoid situations that could lead to me going to jail. Sound advise to anyone who is not julian, cause for some reason situations that could possibly lead to my arrest are as simple as handing out free food, speaking on a panel (in kingston back in the day,) or simply sitting at home typeing on my computer, as we can see from the new charge. Not to mention noise compliants, parties, me having fun or hanging out with my friends etc.
Of course i dont want to go to jail and hate jail and want to avoid it almost at all costs, but there are things i wont do to avoid going to jail, which is renounce my right to organize, betray someone, or shut my mouth.
Still i have been on charges before and usually when on charges you try to avoid getting new ones and find ways to be political despite conditions put on your person to stop you from engaging in politics (im talking about in the past regarding conditions) so I do sort of know how to stay out of trouble.
i left my friend and took a bus back to the place where we were holding the dealing with drugs as a social issue meeting. i was not dressed for the weather and the cold was chilling me to my bones, as well i took the bus that went through all sorts of twists and turns and it was 48 minutes until i got to my destination. Some people i knew were on that bus and when i started to swear because i was slipping on my seat they noticed me and came up to talk. There arm was fucked up from fixing a window and workers comp didnt do anything because the accident according to the board was due to “his negligence”. i got off the bus and walked to the meeting when i ran into a friend of mine who was turning tricks to get a fix. I was talking to her about life and she was telling me the most fucked up story about how she was pretty much beaten hardcore by a john. i asked her if she wanted to come to the meeting but she was working so she couldnt.
We started the meeting and i really didnt want to facilitate cause we had to pretty much re write the proposal on the basis of events, programing and projects. During the meeting someone came to apologize that they couldnt attend because they were to strung out on methadone cause the docter fucked up there dose or some shit. After the meeting i had to talk to a mom whose children were stolen by CAS cause shes poor and a racialized woman.
Seeing all of this and just what is going on in the world due to the greed of some, colonialism, genocide, exploitation, domestic abuse, poverty misery and drug and alcohol addiction one cant sit by silently and do nothing. One of the criticism that people make of post WWII Germany is that many people sat by silently and did nothing while human smoke rose from the chimneys of Dachau. While this view is problematic because there was resistance and it is a generalization, when the next neuremburg happenneds to condemn the colonialists and capitalists for there crimes against the people i dont want to be known as a good german who sat by quietly while millions died for the greed of the few. in the face of this genocide against poor people, and colonized people here and abroad one was an obligation to take a stand and resist even if it means putting your freedom and life in jeopardy, those who are conscious politically have an obligation not just to resist but also to educate and mobalize others because they know whats really going down and if you know you have to speak or act or else that knowledge is worst then wasted because by not sharing you are depriving others of a framework in which to fight and win. In this context i will theorize, act and learn even if it means im fucked because i have the sacred duty to resist event at the risk of being deprived of my freedom. Knowing this i fear not jail or screws or cops or whatever the state can throw at me because of whatever happenneds to me, it will happened in the context of me fulfilling my obligation to the people.