Sad Wings of Destiny

23 Jul

Last night I had a serious nightmare, it started with me and two other activists just hanging out, one of which I havent talked to in quite some time. suddenly an indescribable sense of dread hit us and we were being chased. We got on motorcycles and drove as fast as we could but no matter how fast we drove away, the sense of being chased and the foreboding doom still followed, finally we reached a house and sat down until a voice told us your not safe even here.

I woke up screaming, drenched in sweat, and by my yells i was not the only one who woke up. I went downstairs and tried calling a friend, only to get into an argument about boundaries etc. (who really wants a call from me at some god forsaken hour).

i went outside for a cigarette trying to figure out what this dream means, what am i running from? The more I smoked the more things i could think about that I was running from, for one thing, my health, i havent seen a doctor in a few months and the last thing I promised him was that I would quit smoking in a week, and as you can see that plan is going amazingly, Im running from the horrible conditions around and the death and loss that surrounds it, fuck the way i deal with my dead is I pretend they never existed except when i tell stories and or drink, but what I really believe was chasing me in my dream was this cruel and brutal system that targets and persecutes people, especially if they are demanding their rights, for simply holding an ideology.

After all my preliminary hearing is coming up and im getting screwed over left and right by a crown attorney who thinks that court appointed dates are just suggestions. After all how can I get a fair trial when i dont even have the swift and proper deliverance of the material and evidence that will be brought against me?

i make some coffee and put on judas priest dream deceiver off of the album sad wings of destiny and light another cigarette. As im sitting listening to the eerie voice and mellow guitars on this guitar I ask myself a serious question. Why am I running and why must my wings of destiny be sad? Is it in my nature just to wait and hope for the best? Is it in my nature to be quiet while I get screwed over by a crown who is trying to throw me in jail because of what i write? FUCK NO!!!!

I started organizing because I saw the effect that capitalism has had on my community and have not backed down since. With these charges more is at stake then my comfort for if they can silence me and dan keller, target us for our ideology and attack us and if we take it quietly then there narrative gets out and the normalization of repression becomes the status quo.

I write the previous blog to how the absurdity of what is being done to me and how the crown is trying to screw me over more than before, I light another cigarette (sorry docter), make another coffee and start mobilizing lawyers for advice, friends for support and liberals for funding (this last part is a joke). Once again im running, but like Ice T says “im running faster, but im not running from you, IM RUNNiNG AT YOU”

So come one miller bring it, im not scare and there is no dirty trick that you can pull on me that will defeat or silence me.

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