Last Night i dreamt I was in jail

10 Dec

Last ngiht i dreamt i was arressted, on a real stupid breach, souly at the officers diretion, the cops looked like those bad American movies with cowboy hats and shit, and when i tried to call my lawyer , the phone was really fucked up. i tried to get ahold of my lists of suretys, really hoping that we will call this person hermine granger, would bail me out but i did not use tor while using her internet, nor could the person we call demon dog, given my previous disrespect for the courts i probably wasnt going to get bail anyways.

They took me to fingerprinting and like we usually do, we refuse, sothey smashed my fingers until they got there prints and for my insolence i was sent to the hole.

For some reason i was at exidor road instead of of penatanguisine and by the graffitti on the wall i knew a former comrade was in here. I traced the graffitti with my fingers, remembering that there was a reasoni was in here, as I have done in the past in real life.

As I was shackled at brought to court I saw you, and my face lit upit, despite whatever political diffrences we have had you came for me. For some reason they let you in the back to see me and instead of the solidarity I expected all i heard was critism, as you walked away and the doors slam, the guards came, spread our legs, and told us to bend over and cough, the shacles were on and I was going back.

i woke up drenched in sweat, and since I sleep with the lights on for reasons you know well, it took me a few minutes to figure out I was not in jail but in bed. The window was open and the room was cold, probably one of the reasons why I had that dream.

I litt a ciggerrette and made some coffe, setting off the smoke alarm and really waking me up. Puffing on the smoke i started to think of how we drifted a part. We both use to fight facists together, and 15 years ago we both swore that we would dedicate our lives to fight for socialism in our life time. We were both there in Quebec city in 2001, throw teargas canisters at the cops, took squats together, had streetfights with cops and Nazis and both were willing to do whatever it takes to strenghthen our organizations. We made fun of stident activists together particularly a good friend of ours we called jesus cause he looked like a hippie and would make comments like “thats great” all sarcastic whenever we actually had a great idea. Yet when I talk to you today you say you dont understand me and I have changed into a hardened extremist. You tell me shit like we need to change the political system from within a berate me, saying that my politics will never make me money, you justify your political stand saying at least it gives you a carrear, that makes you a carrearist.

You say that my organizing puts me at risk, forgetting the importance that we both use to place i strenghthening our organization even at the cost of freedom.
Its not me who has changed, but rather it is you, and it saddens me because of the fact that you use to believe in what we were fighting for. Sometimes I wonder if you ever believed and activism and revolutionary politics were just a hobbie, a stepping stone to your now lustrious carrear.

Were all those nights we spent talking about Che, The Sandinstas and The Farc just intellectual extercises? Regardless i am still hear holding the red flag and the sad thing is that i know that next time we rush the fence you will be on your side, despite the words you once said with conviction “even if im the only one to rush the fence, ill still rush it”


2 Responses to “Last Night i dreamt I was in jail”

  1. Al December 10, 2012 at 4:52 pm #

    Betrayal by colleagues is far too common. They are what I call activists of convenience. The sytem is NOT set up to make a living by honest activists. it is however set up for the benefit of psuedo activists, whether they are amateurs or looking to make a modest living at it. I’m slowly learning that most human beings have their own agenda and it’s a self serving one. Sorry to be so negative but I’m seeing too many people getting involved appropriately and then being bought off.

  2. doug December 10, 2012 at 10:49 pm #

    Pretty soon that dream will be a reality and you will be in jail Julian.

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