Hitchhiking into the light

9 Apr

Today, after attending various things that I will write about tommorrow, given the fact that i was broke and no way to get to Kitchener from Toronto, I decided to hitchhike. Although i came to this desision on my own, the Toronto Police helped me come to the desision to leave Toronto by providing me with a ride out of town. Of course this was not done out of the goodness of their heart but rather was a result of them not believing that my plan was to get out of town and I was up to something as oppossed to taking my word. Despite my disdain for the police and the fact that they think i am a lier, who was i to turn down a free ride to the off ramp. My hitchhiking experiance started pretty good, as the first person to pick me up was listening to speaches of Nasser’allah in Arabic, and despite the fact that we didnt have much conversation, it was clear that our views on certain issues were similar.

i got dropped off outside of Milton, near Maplehearts, and by now the rain was pretty fucken heavy. Quite a few peace of shit screws that drove by rolled down the window making obsecne gestures at me, and i was pretty fucken cold, as well as hungry and wishing I had a damn fucken ciggerrette. Eventually i got picked up by this Russian guy and driven to the Cambellford ramp. The rain was poring and i was soaked. Not only that but being cold wet hitchiking on that strech of hiway brought back various memories, and those who have dranken with me know that that period of my life when i was hithchiking across the province alot alot of cool shit happenned, but so did alot of bad shit.Given the fact that I was cold hungry and in pain from the shitty weather, what I was thinking about wasnt posative things but rather negative things. i was thinking of the times that i was locked up, the friends that I have lost and the pointlessness of being outside freezing on the road simply to do political work that could seem hopeless and pointless.

One of my friend pointed out to me that those people who are my friends that died for stupid reason have seriously impacted me, and in the case of people that od’ed from drugs that I have worked with in the past, i take their deaths not only as a failure of society but rather as a personal failure of me as an activist and organizor. The faces of those that I have failed haunt me quite often, especially if i feel I could have done more.

In light of this i was thinking of the futility of the uphill battlle that we are fighting against a system that feeds of off the blood of others, and for every person that we help there are many that we fail, and to me this is not a question of statistics or numbers or anyshit like that but rather real life shit, real humans and people, whom not only has the system failed, but so has the alternative that we are trying to creating.

Feeling sorry for myself, wallowing in semi despair, a car pulls up out of no ware.Im trying to force the door open and i must have looked like a crazy person, drenched, my hair and beard all over the place trying to get in. I dont know what the driver was thinking, but he let me in and picked me. We stared talking and I told him i write left wing articles, and tried to explain what left wing means. We started talking about writing, and somehow the topic of drugs and the work that I do around drug use came up.We talked about it for a bit, as well as my blog, g20 and my passion for writing. It was wierd, cause some of the stuff this guy was saying was stuff i totally agree with, esp. the part that about grammer and spelling LOL(I wish he could say this stuff to certain editors). He told me to stick to what i was doing in terms of writing and working to find solutions to the problems around drugs.

He then asked me why I was so into finding a solution to the drug problem in my community. The question threw me off guard, cause its not something I usually think about. After some thought I gave hime a simplistic but true answer, which is (and Im totally paraphrasing to make me sound smarter then I am) i have seen the harm it can cause to a community and since there is no one else to do it , we as people in our community must come up with solutions to this problem which deal with the root cause of the problem, as opposed to finding bandage solutions. He dropped me off and gave me some money, and explained to me some personal issues in his life which I wont go into, but show that it may have been more then luck that he picked me up (his words) .

As i grabbed a coffee and bagel at Tim Hortons waiting for my bus i was thinking about the strange way in which life sometimes reminds you of the importance of the work you are doing. Soaked, cold and in pain, I still felt a warmth of the sun even though the sun was not in the sky. It wasnt a phsyical warmth but rather a psycological one stemming from the fact that no matter how dark things seem, and no matter cloady and cold it is outside, this will pass and the sun will eventually rise. Until that happenneds and a brighter day comes it us up to us to keep the faith and fight, knowing that eventually our work will bear fruit.

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2 Responses to “Hitchhiking into the light”

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