Another heroin death is human life worth so little?

8 Oct

About an hour after getting off the bus in Kitchener, with a whole list of tasks, im sitting on facebook at the commons, sipping my coffee when a friend approached me. She starting talking and im doing my thing chatting while trying to find out my secret crush or some other mundane fb thing like sharing clovers for luck or what not, when she mentions that someone we both know just died october 2nd of a drug overdose. She continues to talk to me about her problems and how dealers are trying to exploit her and then she asks me to come with her to the viewing. At that point in time my thoughts and feelings were numb and as i am so good at compartmentalized eg. another death, life goes on or what not it hits me. How many deaths, violence crime poverty unemployment and other fuckery can a community withstand before it breaks? How many scars can we as poor people endure before a switch goes off in our minds and we accept this hell as normal?

I talk to her the best i can and we chat and all of a sudden i dont feel like doing anything anymore, posters screw them, radio show ill wing it, meetings they can wait and i just on queen street smoking cigarette after cigarette just staring at the street, watching hustlers dealers addicts etc. just doing their thing and just thinking this is my life, these are my friends and this is what 18 years of struggle have achieved? more deaths? more violence, bodys in parks .

Given that we had a meeting that day i see the cruisers drive by watching and in my mind im thinking how much money are they spending to moniter and criminalize us due to our politics, how many millions of dollars has the conservatives put into there hedgefund to help in the community and how much has been spent (30 to 5 i believe is the ratio), how many more deaths must our community endure because politicians bmws are worth more then the lives of the poor.

Sitting in a meeting im talking to one of the heads of what is seen as the self empowered charity model and we are talking local politics. My hearts not in it i just want to go curl up and watch charmed, vampire diaries or some show that has nothing to do with this reality, and he talks (and im paraphrasing) about the need for tactical political choices in the upcoming municipal election to stop the far right, and while i agree with him to some extent its as if these far right partys are created to unify everone around the so called moderate right keeping the status quo in place and as always its the boots of the rich on our throat and we are just to accept it.

Our meeting went ok, as we were planning what must be done to stop the out of the cold program from shutting down and im just thinking all we are doing is survival work, in otherwords not pushing our agenda but having to fight to defend what little we have and in this manner the issue becomes one of where will we warehouse all these people in squalor so they can survive as oppossed to why dont people have decent housing by virtue of being human?

I went to see a friend and watch supernatural have some coffee smokes and veggie out. We are talking about this and she is furious, the idea that capitalism kills for us is not an abstract idea but rather a concrete reality, she talks about her own issues and how close she is to ending up on the street and being another body, she talk about the ywca 50 beds program which was created as a result of the outrage in kitchener and how they are talikng about mainlining people in other services. In other words the poor, panhandlers, addicts and people with mental health in jail, kids leaving abusive cas situation back in the system, etc etc etc. solving none of these problems.

But instead of the ennui.depression i am feeling she is fire and what she says make sense. Kitchener is known for its brutailty and uglyness, yet kitchener is also known as a hardcore community based on resistance and the hardships have produced very hardened activists and mutual aid organizations. Its one of the few citys where homeless people know what anarchism marxism etc mean and many have a analysis and understand not just what is going on but why we must resist.

Last winter when our friend relapsed and crack dealing scum was coming after him because there were few to know support programs it was us that confronted the dealers, it was us who tried to do mental support the state whose responsability it was to help and created the conditions that lead to his relapse did nothing.

Currently with this crisis going on it is us who are stepping up to plate and taking social responsability, it is us who are fighting for the alternative despite the fact that most of us dont even have three dollars in our pocket to buy a big mac. Looking at the poblem one might feel overwhelmed but the reality is we have no choice sit back and watch this unfold or resist. Our own experiance shows us the power of grassroots survival programs and direct confrontation. We have despite all the naysayers created the first drop in kkkanada by the people for the people, we have saved the mayfair hotel, pressured the city to build affordable housing, created programs that deal with everything from literacy to substance abuse and we did for ourselves without selling out any principles.

A solution will come to this problem but it will not come from a system that glorifys the imperialist troops with poppies yet is quick to forget the value of the lives of the poor, while theso called atrocities of extermists abroad get so much play the media is silent about the atrocities here. Our only solution to push forward unify all that can be unified and keep on fighting the good fight. We may lose but if we dont try we are damned anyways, and personally im sick of people here going gently into the not so good night, now is the time to rage and stop the dieng of the light.

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