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27 Nov

After going through kkkanadian customs and such I was greeted by a friend who drove me to the subway station. It was really good to see a friendly face and the fact that they tossed me a wee bit of money to get on my feet was also good (the first thing i bought was of course smokes and coffee). Due to the heat at the airport we decided to leave and told other people not to meet us and that i was grand.

The past week I have been simply hanging out and trying to adapt myself to the present reality while not jumping into things right away. Yet despite this and my self imposed nerdome isolation reality has a way of sinking weather it be getting off the subway and seeing an ambulance and stretcher and cops picking up an od or fb msgs from friends in Kitchener telling me that all is not well, the isolation began to crack and it became obvious to me that this would not last.

When I was abroad all I could do was think of all the fucked up things in Kitchener from police to poverty to violence and how much I hate it, checking your fb or using a friends phone and dealing with crisis after crisis after crisis. What happened at Conestogo College the other day is a perfect example of this. The other night I was at a friends for most of the night due to the fact that someone threatened to kill her and then kill her kids (which she does not have) and has been told that she will never be safe in this neighborhood, we chatted about fascists visting peoples work places to intimidate them and who died since I left. The weather outside is freezing and due to the lack of shelters and the closing of the out of the cold program we are preparing for more people to die from exposure etc.

Yesterday when I was having a coffee my friend told me I looked totally exhausted and Im like fuck Kitchener, she replied but I live here and your glad to see me right, which of course I have acknowledged, still I am looking forward to going back to my apartment in Toronto, turning on the vampire diaries or Dr. Who and just nerding out.

Yet while i was sitting in bed trying to read Dragonlance, my mind was going a hundred miles a minute. Kitchener is a fucken shithole, yet it is because Kitchener is a shithole that we have a serious sense of community, that we defend our community and mobalize to solve each others problems. It is the shithollyness of Kitchener that produces the type of people who are willing to put there necks on the line no matter what cost. When people from Kitchener talk about our survival programs and political programs people are amazed as if there is something in the drinking water that creates amazing community but the reality is that the bleakness of Kitchener that forces people in a position where they must either choose to accept things as they are or work hard to change them. The bleakness economic crisis and repression actually creates the conditions that allow people to do what must be done to change things and in that process community is created. The more i thought about it the more i realised that the reason we can do the things in kitchener that we do is because we have popular support that comes not from books or such but rather from our direct reality.

I think about the people from Kitchener from my dad who hates politics but loves me enough to send me money that he does not have to have smokes and such on the emerald isle because I am his beloved son and his love for me is so unconditional that he will help me when I am down even though I am a political person and a heretical pelagianist .

I think about my neighbors who will drive all the way to toronto in a serious storm to make sure i get here for my radio show, or political meeting and think of all others in the community who will give anything to support each other even if they have nothing and realize this is what Kitchener is, a community that gets stepped on kicked around yet will get up and fight back leaving no one to fend for themselves.

Community is not something that grows on trees but rather is a direct result of marginalized people realizing that no one else will solve there problems therefor they must take social responsibility. As I am writing this and thinking about all the lessons I have learned on the emeralde Isle from the need to consolidate all anti colonialists under one banner to the need to find breathing space, to rejecting knee jerk reactions I am waiting for my neighbour to wake up so as we can have coffee (my fifth on an hour) chat, and conspire to build community.

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