sailing the darkened seas

24 Jul

I have made the big decision im going to try to nullify my life cause when the blood begins to flow when it shoots up the droppers neck when im closing in on death-Velvet underground

so my life is pretty fucked up right now, and through this fact knowing i am fucked I am free, i have several terminal illnesses diseases that will lead to death, im definitely going to jail for the charges i am on right now, the question is how many years will i get, those who are supposed to be the closest to me treat me like an animal and to top it off there are several medications that i need to take that if i dont take im fucked, some of these like beta blockers are socially acceptable other of them like opiates give my so called loved ones the excuse to treat me like an animal and in some cases throw shoes at me like a dog. Given the above stated things why am i happy, because I am free and i truly have nothing left to lose. What can the state do to me kill me to bad im dying anyways, throw me in jail, sorry going there anyways alienate me from my loved ones i have done that on my own already so by having accepted the fact that I have nothing to lose I am truly free to do what needs to be done to fight for the creation of a republic ruled by reason not superstition landlords or kings.

my days recently go like this i wake up exhausted and in severe pain take my meds or in absence of that try to find money to get my meds after which i leave my house under the watchful eye of the police and hit the streets, i check on whatever projects are going on like our safe injection site, our several squats and other peoples projects, head to the courthouse to deal with charges i or others i organize with face. get on the internet and hit people up for money to run these projects, or let people know whats going on with what we are doing participate in subversive activity like feed poor people or ask the question why in the centre of all this wealth and opulence are there people who are hungry and sleeping on the streets, head to the pharmacy and pick up prescriptions or try to find money then go to pick up prescriptions, try to lose the police that is following me not for any reason that I am doing anything wrong or that I am ashamed of but rather just for the principle why should i be followed and criminalized for my political convictions and ideology. attend various meetings dealing with everything for political prisoners to opposing the British occupation of Ireland to the social problems that we are facing in our community, after this I go to see various doctors appointments etc if im lucky I work for scraps pff the masters table and fall asleep listening to ghost stories and classic horror writers like poe and lovecraft so I don’t have to think about the horrors we call civilization and society.

Once in awhile this monotony is broken up by police raids, arrests and beatings that if they would occur in Venezuela or be carried out by the IRA would be called torture and terrorism but since we live in a so called free society its called intensive interrogation and its for the good of this free society where we are free to starve free to not be able to afford the medication we need to survive free to freeze to death on the streets or be murdered by brutal cops and if we say anything about this we are called criminals and terrorists.

When i talk to people around me I see that this experience I have is not unique to me, so many people are falling through the cracks that we no longer can call it falling through the cracks as the cracks are so fucken big that one cant refer to the cracks in our system but rathe huge fucken gaping holes so fucken big that the so called social saftey net is just a big fucken hole. The crisis is so huge that one can no longer refer to it as a crisis but rather a collapse of a system that rewards anti social behaviour narcissism and corruption. The sooner people realise that they have nothing to lose the sooner they will realise that they are truly free to revolt rebel and create what is new.

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