someone is killing prostitutes and junkies downtown Kitchener and no one cares

Yesterday I was quite sick in extreme pain and needing a cigarette as well as severely needing antibiotics as well as going through severe opiate withdrawal which just made the pain ten times worse. Given that I had no money and the pharmacy was closing in ten minutes its was quite clear that I was not getting any opiates or antibiotics so I went down the street to bum a smoke. On eby street I was able to bum a smoke and as I sat down to enjoy it I ran into a friend who has HIV as well as Leukemia. She just got out of the hospital for pneumonia and she needed a place to clean up before she went out to the street to sell her body so she could pay for a hotel room as well as get her AZT cocktail etc. I offered her to come with me to clean up. After awhile we had to leave due to the fact that someone was very drunk and angry that I took the mayonnaise and this degenerated into a fight where I was hit with a broom like a fucken dog.

She could not breath so walking up the street took about an hour and she was promising me a lot of fentanyl or whatever I wanted as long as I wouldn’t leave her. I said I wouldnt and I did not really want to take advantage of her despair. We went into a back alley where she could clean up. She said if you keep me awake Ill give you whatever you want my price was a can of pepsi she said there must be something you want more then pepsi, smokes and mayonnaise I said , joking shes like fuck off with the mayonnaise.it was quite cold outside so she wrapped me up in a shawl and some womens dresses which i put on myself like a blanket. For the next 5 hours I kept her awake while she brushed her teeth applied her make up put on a wig and made herself pretty.

During this conversation she asked if i wanted to watch her back while she worked. I asked her what she meant she told me don’t you know someone is cutting up street workers, I thought she was talking about the highway of tears or out in British Columbia so I stated that yeah i know what do you need me to do she told me that I need to watch her when she gets in car write down the licence plate and if she is not back in twenty minutes wait another 20 then if she doesn’t come back call the cops and tell that my friend got in a car describe the car and license plate. I asked whats the likeliness of this happening and she was like didn’t you hear what I said someone is killing street workers and junkies, im like yeah in BC she said no here, which was like shocking to know that someone here is offing people. She then told me several names of people who are missing.

We went on the street and I said I was going to grab a jacket and that I would be right back as there were several friends outside it made sense. Its like 5am at this point and I headed home to grab a jacket on the way home I got lifted and interrogated and by the time this was done it was like 7am she was not there but I Didn’t expect her to be there. By this time im in extreme pain my blood pressure is like 170 over 98 which is close to a heart attack its been 48 hours since i took anything for my pain so my withdrawal is quite bad so i took a bromazepam and a xanax to bring down my bp and pulse and get some sleep. I woke up quite late and after doing various things I got shot in the face with a pellet gun on my porch while i was having a smoke which I assume was in response to an action against the neo nazis who were having a demonstration today. Given to my state I did not go but I heard the NAZIS did not show up either and given my history as an anti fascist it makes sense that I would be a target the shot stung and I am fine but it was two inches under my eye. Basicly a car pulled up stopped in front of my place then it shot me and sped up. After this I went down to the strip to see whats up and I ran into several other friends of mine who work the streets and we started talking and they also were telling me that someone is killing street workers. I gave someone a dollar for the rest of there pepsi and we talked more about this and as I walked home I thought how fucked up things are we live in a system where someone who is extremely sick and should be in a hospital is selling there body just to survive, that people are forced due to economic war to sell themselves and in spite of this they are all getting killed and no one gives a fuck. Several years ago I lived up at church and Wellesley in Toronto and there was an active serial killer targeting queer people one person got away from the killer and went to the police only to have the police leave the guy with his killer because he said it’s a dispute. People who live on the margins of society can be killed all the time and no one gives a fuck. This serial killer in Toronto acted with impunity for several years. How many people will be killed in Kitchener before this person will get caught will they ever get caught I doubt it because under this system some lives just dont matter.

of the friends who will be waiting when we all walk free again

So Im going to jail again. This experience of putting humans in cages and degrading them is common for those who take it upon themselves to take a stand against a unjust system set in place to destroy the souls of those that resist.I myself have spent in total 1 third of my life in jail and as a Republican set on building a true Republic I know i will spend more time in jail. So my latest arrest bail conditions and soon jail is not new, nor is it something I am ashamed of. I am proud of all I have done and regret nothing. In jail despite all the brutality you meet at the hands of the screws, the abuse and bullshit, solitary confinement etc. you meet comrades and some of the moments in jail the compassion from other prisoners and the solidarity you see in jail lasts a life time, as do the friendships forged in the belly of the beast. As a Irish POW once told me jail is niot the end of the struggle but rather another type of struggle. The struggle doesn’t end with jail but rather continues inside. This is true in jail the struggle against the screws to maintain your dignity and humanity and your very soul. To not be bowed to not be broken. I myself have always been a political prisoner and when i go back i will still be a political prisoner and there is nothing the state can do to take that away in the words of the players brigade so come on you screws and wardens dont you think that its a crime though you do the best to break us we will still stand and do our time!!!!

sailing the darkened seas

I have made the big decision im going to try to nullify my life cause when the blood begins to flow when it shoots up the droppers neck when im closing in on death-Velvet underground

so my life is pretty fucked up right now, and through this fact knowing i am fucked I am free, i have several terminal illnesses diseases that will lead to death, im definitely going to jail for the charges i am on right now, the question is how many years will i get, those who are supposed to be the closest to me treat me like an animal and to top it off there are several medications that i need to take that if i dont take im fucked, some of these like beta blockers are socially acceptable other of them like opiates give my so called loved ones the excuse to treat me like an animal and in some cases throw shoes at me like a dog. Given the above stated things why am i happy, because I am free and i truly have nothing left to lose. What can the state do to me kill me to bad im dying anyways, throw me in jail, sorry going there anyways alienate me from my loved ones i have done that on my own already so by having accepted the fact that I have nothing to lose I am truly free to do what needs to be done to fight for the creation of a republic ruled by reason not superstition landlords or kings.

my days recently go like this i wake up exhausted and in severe pain take my meds or in absence of that try to find money to get my meds after which i leave my house under the watchful eye of the police and hit the streets, i check on whatever projects are going on like our safe injection site, our several squats and other peoples projects, head to the courthouse to deal with charges i or others i organize with face. get on the internet and hit people up for money to run these projects, or let people know whats going on with what we are doing participate in subversive activity like feed poor people or ask the question why in the centre of all this wealth and opulence are there people who are hungry and sleeping on the streets, head to the pharmacy and pick up prescriptions or try to find money then go to pick up prescriptions, try to lose the police that is following me not for any reason that I am doing anything wrong or that I am ashamed of but rather just for the principle why should i be followed and criminalized for my political convictions and ideology. attend various meetings dealing with everything for political prisoners to opposing the British occupation of Ireland to the social problems that we are facing in our community, after this I go to see various doctors appointments etc if im lucky I work for scraps pff the masters table and fall asleep listening to ghost stories and classic horror writers like poe and lovecraft so I don’t have to think about the horrors we call civilization and society.

Once in awhile this monotony is broken up by police raids, arrests and beatings that if they would occur in Venezuela or be carried out by the IRA would be called torture and terrorism but since we live in a so called free society its called intensive interrogation and its for the good of this free society where we are free to starve free to not be able to afford the medication we need to survive free to freeze to death on the streets or be murdered by brutal cops and if we say anything about this we are called criminals and terrorists.

When i talk to people around me I see that this experience I have is not unique to me, so many people are falling through the cracks that we no longer can call it falling through the cracks as the cracks are so fucken big that one cant refer to the cracks in our system but rathe huge fucken gaping holes so fucken big that the so called social saftey net is just a big fucken hole. The crisis is so huge that one can no longer refer to it as a crisis but rather a collapse of a system that rewards anti social behaviour narcissism and corruption. The sooner people realise that they have nothing to lose the sooner they will realise that they are truly free to revolt rebel and create what is new.

the cop and the drug dealer

So i have been very sick lately i contracted a blood infection from an abscessed tooth and it spread to my heart and from there to my joints. Today my skin right above exploded leaking at least 5 cups of blood and puss. needless to say this was extremely painful yet despite this I had to attend court. My so called loved ones started yelling at me calling me a parasite and one of them attacking me with a mop. At court people treated me like a pariah stating how gross i was and and wanting nothing to do with me. I was also extremely thirsty and in severe pain. A cop came up to me with gauze alcohol to clean the wound tape and scissors. This cop helped me clean the wound and tape me up. She stated that I need to take better care of myself and maybe take a break for a bit to take care of my health. She also helped me find my lawyer to sign some papers so the lawyer could represent me in court so I could go to the hospital. Soon i found this lawyer with her help and got out of court and went to the hospital. The hospital said they would not operate unless i took some opiates and they could not give me any because i have a contract with my doctor that i could receive opiates just from him. My doctor is on vacation so I have no way of getting opiates legally, the doctor said its quite clear that you are not in withdrawal so Im sure you have a way to get opiates. I asked the doctor if he was suggesting I score drugs off the street he said all im saying is if you have a way of getting opiates you should do that or else we won’t operate.
I went home and have no money so the friends i have who have prescriptions wont give me anything. a little while later there was a knock at my door, it was a local drug dealer whom in the past I have had altractions with and called scum etc. I asked whats up and he said that he heard what happened in court today and I must be hurting I said I have no money and even if i did I wouldn’t give him any. He told me to calm down, we went upstairs and he broke off a piece of of a strong opiate he said he was giving it to me for free cause I really must be hurting. Although it was a strong opiate the stuff im prescribed is stronger i said half joking half serious can i get a bigger piece he said yes. After doing it I thanked him and headed to the hospital. In terms of the political work I do cops and high level drug dealers are usually on the other side of the class war and in our struggle we sometimes dehumanise them as the enemy. Yet today when my friends turned their back on me it was the enemy that treated me like a human and showed me basic dignity. This in no way means that I love the police etc I am against the uniform and what it symbolises crown forces, when someone puts on the uniform they are upholding the system of oppression and are foot soldiers of the state. Yet at the same time we can have a certain respect for an enemy who is principled and sees people as humans. The same way an enemy can have respect for us because of our principles.